Every winter, hundreds of people make snowmen. Some build tiny snowmen with a baby carrot nose, and others erect snow castles. But hilarious snowmen come in all shapes and sizes.
Some people have changed a snowy field into a snowman army. Others have transformed their mailbox into an artistic creation. From a snow toilet to a squareman, here are the funniest snowmen to ever grace social media.
"This Dang Phone Froze Up On Me Again"
This snowman is posed like everyone else on Christmas morning. But instead of checking Instagram, he's checking the weather to see how long he has left. He's lucky he received a waterproof iPhone 7.
If you're looking for a new phone this winter, wait until the snow melts. This snowman can only browse on his phone for so long, poor guy. But at least he'll provide some laughs until then. Well done to the makers of this snowman.
A Protest For Better Carrot Noses
"WE WANT CARROTS!" the crowd of angry snowmen shout. You only have three carrots left, but that's not enough to assuage the mob. Who could possibly provide this many carrot noses in the middle of winter? How will the army ever be appeased?
"When do we want them?" one snowman shouts, and the rest chorus, "NOW!" Those without carrots will struggle to avoid this mob until the end of winter. Good thing they're too small to hurt anyone.
The Unfortunate Sneeze
This artwork was posted to Snapchat with the caption: "My cousin calls it, 'the unfortunate sneeze.'" It's a tragedy worthy of a Shakespearean play. Who knew that carrot noses could be weaponized?
The next time you build a snowman, you might want to reconsider the carrot nose option. This is a little-known reason for why some people prefer to use coal. When your snowmen catch a cold (which is highly likely as they're always in the cold), tragedy could occur.
Not Like Other Snowmen
Snowmen only have a brief time on earth. They don't have time to conform to society. What was that? He can't hear you when he's blasting Snow Vicious. After all, he has REAL taste in music.
How did his snow mohawk become blue? Hot Topic hair dye, obviously. He's so cool that he wears sunglasses day and night even when it's cloudy out, like the Blues Brothers. Give him a fist bump when you pass by.
Don't Hit The Bicyclist
Swerving around bicyclists is frustrating in itself. But imagine driving by a stationary bicyclist who is also made of snow. On this road, that's a surprise that all drivers will encounter during the winter.
This bicyclist better be following road laws, because that cop car is right on his tail. Hey, there's no bike lane there, buddy! And where are your reflective lights? There has to be a law against a bicyclist potentially melting on the road.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHH"
A mailman drives up to a home with an unusual mailbox. It's covered in snow, with buttons as eyes and the mailbox door as its mouth. "Heh, clever," the mailman thinks. He opens the door, and suddenly the snowman screams!
Okay, you got us. That didn't happen. But it's hard to look at this snowman and not imagine it screaming every time you reach for the mail. Indeed, it must feed on mail to survive.
Surprisingly, It's Not Yellow
When you gotta go, you gotta go. Snow allows you to create a bathroom wherever you need to, like these people did. It's far colder than an indoor restroom, but beggars can't be choosers.
They were also kind enough to make a toilet paper roll and plunger out of the snow. After all, you never know when the snow toilet will clog, especially if the entire structure is made out of (frozen) water. At least it isn't yellow.
Twinning
Borzoi or snowzoi? Both are indistinguishable in this setting. When your fur is as white as snow, you'll eventually have a snow clone made out of you. Perhaps the one on the left is real, but we can't say for sure.
Or maybe the dog on the left is made of yellow snow, and the one on the right is a real dog covered in snow. Our brains hurt trying to interpret this. We'll call both of them snowzois.
Pushing Or Pulling?
Who knew that snowmen could eat their creators? But the real question doesn't surround the snowman; it's about the boy. Is he trying to free that person, or is he pushing the person into the snowman?
If the victim is his sibling, he's likely pushing them into the snowman. This is what goes down when siblings argue about building a snowman. Don't trust the snowman, and definitely don't trust your siblings to help you around the snowman.
Well, That's Not Right
A squareman. That's what this is. According to the Reddit poster, he just moved from Australia to the United States and made his first snowman. He'll need some more practice.
Of course, there is snow in Australia. The aptly named Snowy Mountains receive enough snow to make a correctly round snowman, so really, this user has no excuse. But he still deserves props for sticking facial hair on the squareman. He definitely has a lot of character.
If You Don't Get Snow, Use The Freezer
People who live in an area without snow may feel left out of this snowman trend. But with a little creativity, anyone can make their own snowman in their freezer. Just turn down the temperature and start raking the ice crystals in there.
This freezer snowman comes fully equipped with buttons, coal eyes and nose, a hat, scarf, and a spoon as a staff. Perhaps the spoon is his rake, and he's meant to clean up the other freezer snow.
"Let Me In!"
Imagine hearing a tap on your window late at night. Fearing that it's an intruder, you turn to the window--only to find your snowman. "Let me in!" he shouts. He's lonely when he's left outside!
It's cold out there! Why would you leave a snowman outside in the freezing weather? Although snowmen melt at room temperature, it seems that this one doesn't know that yet. Maybe it wants to watch Christmas movies with everyone else.
Working To Become A Snow Butterfly
If you thought that snowmen were all people, you were wrong. This snow caterpillar is both adorable and funny to come across. Just make sure a snow bird doesn't swoop in and eat it, although it's camouflaged quite well.
Unfortunately, there are few leaves for this caterpillar to eat in the winter. Perhaps it eats snow leaves to grow into a snow butterfly eventually. You go, little fella. Curl up in a cocoon before the snow melts.
"Did Someone Order A Pizza?"
Part-time pizza delivery jobs are getting shorter and shorter. This new employee will only get to work during the winter. If this snowman has foresight, he'll spend all of his earnings before the sun comes out.
Pray that the pizza isn't too hot, or else his hands will melt. But he is wearing oven mittens and an apron, so he's fully prepared for delivery. 'Tis the season for snowmen to deliver slightly snowy and soggy pizza.
Storytime
The St. Albert Library provides a service that most snowmen don't receive: storytime. Even snowmen get bored standing around in the snow, and they could use an entertaining Christmas story or two.
Notice that the fire isn't lit. "Gather 'round the fire" doesn't have the same impact when you're a snowman, but as long as you have a book, you'll have the atmosphere. Look at the snowmen smiling--they're so excited to enjoy a story!
Weeee!
Even snowmen need to relax sometimes. Before the winter melts, this snowman is having some fun on the slide. He even has legs to climb the ladder for another go.
Few people know that sliding poses a risk for snowmen. Since they're made from snowballs, they easily pick up speed when they roll downhill. If the hill is tall enough, pray for the people at the bottom. An avalanche could result from this playtime.
The Snowmen Of Winters Past
Although A Christmas Carol suggests that there's one Ghost of Christmas Past, this photo says otherwise. The melted snowmen of previous winters have risen again. It's a haunted snow graveyard.
Jokes aside, whoever chose those light-up eyes made a good call. This icy field really looks haunted. If you think the spooky atmosphere leaves after Halloween, visit this snow graveyard. The ancestors of all current snowmen have returned to haunt everyone and warm them about the spring.
The Fallen
When the snow begins to melt, you'll see many fallen snowmen. This is the sad truth of what happens when the snow melts. Or it was a product of someone who chose to make a face instead of an upright snowman.
Once rabbits eat those carrots on the ground, this snowman will be no more. If you walk around in the snow, watch your step. Don't hurt a carrot-made snowman during his final remnants of life.
The Sad Truth
This urban snowman doesn't hide the truth from anyone. He proudly holds up the sign, "I'll be dead soon." We don't know why he's smiling while he's telling every passerby about his eventual melting.
While that poor snowman will perish in spring, others look forward to spring. Some may pass this sign and think, "Finally!" Others may see it and think that it's depressing or funny. It's a whirlwind of emotions and interpretations wrapped in one snowman.
The Head Was Too Much Work
Making a realistic human-like snowman is a lot of work. These creators did a good job making the snow look like a sitting person. But the hardest part is the head--and they found a clever way around it.
Somehow, the snowman looks more endearing with a hyper-realistic mask on its head. It looks like he's wearing a white bodysuit. He looks pensive, too, like he's reflecting on the suffering of humanity. What a deep thinker.
